On the Passing of a Friend
For all of the times we rail about the base nature of our fellow man, there are also many times when unremarked we witness acts of generosity of spirit, courage, or nobility.
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A simple philosophy I have adopted over the years has been tested and re-enforced in the past few weeks. It is to celebrate those good and pleasing things encountered in daily life, no matter how small, with at least the same vigour as I bemoan the bad or merely vexing.
Granted, this is a simplistic credo. It does not explain, justify, or attempt to define which are the good things or for that matter the bad. It merely works to draw one’s attention to simple things, to pleasant things, those things that create balance and the awareness that perception often determines our reality.
Here is an example of what I mean:
It was not unusual for me to simmer with anger and frustration while negotiating downtown traffic yet not pause to give a second thought to, at the end of the journey, finding a parking spot with a dollar still on the meter.
Now, I really try to take a moment and bring this pleasant thing to the forefront of my awareness, to celebrate in a tiny way and be conscious of the choice; to be in a negative mood because of the traffic or a positive mood because of the parking spot.
Trivial, I know and yet the truth is that while bad things can overwhelm us, good things rarely clamour for attention.
Granted, this is a simplistic credo. It does not explain, justify, or attempt to define which are the good things or for that matter the bad. It merely works to draw one’s attention to simple things, to pleasant things, those things that create balance and the awareness that perception often determines our reality.
Here is an example of what I mean:
It was not unusual for me to simmer with anger and frustration while negotiating downtown traffic yet not pause to give a second thought to, at the end of the journey, finding a parking spot with a dollar still on the meter.
Now, I really try to take a moment and bring this pleasant thing to the forefront of my awareness, to celebrate in a tiny way and be conscious of the choice; to be in a negative mood because of the traffic or a positive mood because of the parking spot.
Trivial, I know and yet the truth is that while bad things can overwhelm us, good things rarely clamour for attention.
Labels: On the Passing of a Friend
posted by Steve Dobson at
01:15
7 Comments:
Steve:
You have had that spirit for many a year - Rocky Bay comes to mind - our choice was to be miserable and feel hard done by, or to "buck up" and make the best of it - we made an enjoyable and memorable trip out of what could easily have been an orgy of self-pity.
When I was young I worked in Halifax as a handyman on an LIP grant courtesy of the Trudeau government. It was called 'Personal Care for the Aged'. Watson Inglis set up an office and fielded calls from senior citizens who needed help with household chores. It was my job to go out and repair broken windows, wash 40 years of smoke off walls and ceilings, re-paint, etc.
My eyes were opened to the remarkable physical effects that occurred in people who habitually dwell on the negative. Abraham Lincoln once said that "every man over 40 is responsible for his own face", or something to that effect.
I realized at twenty, that gratitude, as a habit of mind, can make the difference between a life of happiness and one of bitterness.
Amen to that, brother!
PS : (obligatory fishing content) Did you ever notice how many more fish you catch when you cultivate the habit of optimism? I don't know if I actually can prove that I catch more, but I am pretty sure I miss fewer strikes when I expect a hit on every cast.
RP
Good reading . Something that has only over the past few years become part of my thinking.
It dawned on me one day while out fishing at a spot that I had not visited for some time . This may seem silly but I spent many hours at the place most of them with my Dad. While walking back after a not to successful outing I found myself stood still in thought.
Here was I out at a most beautiful spot bemoaning the lack of a fish ,the thing that struck me was my Dad was not with me ...... now unable through bad health to walk to the river .
It was a big moment for me in the way I think , we take the little things for granted just to walk is wonderful and it's for such gifts we should be thankful . Bemoaning the lack of a fish seemed so pitiful ,so I stood and looked around , the last time my dad walked down here he probably did not realize the fact that he may not get to return.
I now make an effort to soak in every second of my life and enjoy .
I once saw trees and flowers now natures miracles!I have so much to be grateful for I count myself as both happy and lucky to have become aware of this.
Thoughtful replies Men.
I’ll ponder them awhile.
Izaac Walton said in the Compleat Angler, something like:
“…He that views the ancient Ecclesiastical Canons…shall find Angling allowed to clergymen as being a harmless recreation, a recreation that invites them to contemplation and quietness.”
I guess it is true.
All the best,
Steve
well positive philosophy i will say
Remember it is not the destination it is the journey and the path we choose to go.
Cheers
Yeah to both Fish Whisperer and Web CRM.
The trick is to find a philosophy that takes you along a path you can walk comfortably.
RP mentioned that, every man over forty is responsible for his own face, which means I think, that our faces reflect our habits.
My belief is that an attitude is a habit of mind. It has nothing to do with our circumstance. Our circumstance is defined by our attitude towards it.
The old Yogi Berra quote, “Yeah, we may be lost but we are making good time”, seems to me to sum up the idea.
Cheers,
Steve
thanks for the nice blog
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